Category: Health & Life Coaching

We live in a time where flaking is at an all time high and it’s becoming harder and harder to find someone who follows through with their word.

For those who are unaware, a flake is someone who makes plans or promises, but fails to follow through.

Often times, a flake will either cancel plans at the very last minute or not show up, giving no warning or reason for not keeping their commitment.

To be clear, a flake is not someone who cancels an arrangement for an actual emergency (e.g., a family crisis).

Instead, a flake is an unreliable person who seldom, if ever, keeps their word.

Many people today wonder why there’s an increase in flaking.

Is it due to poor time-management skills? Is it due to over-committing? Is it due to texting and how it’s made easier to bail on someone?

While these reasons may be the case for some instances of flaking, they don’t get to the root issue of the flake epidemic.

The number one reason for the flake epidemic is that people don’t value each other anymore.

As time goes on, many people have become cold-hearted and dismissive towards one another.

Also, with the help of social media, many people have developed traits of narcissism and only seek relationships for self-serving reasons, such as validation, and not to form a genuine connection.

More so, many people lack empathy and simply don’t care how they treat others.

When someone flakes it also signals that they don’t value your time. Why?

Because people make time for what they value in life.

One thing to know about flaky people is that they often feel that their time is more valuable than anyone else’s, which makes it easy for them to flake.

Sadly, as time goes on and more people become self-centered and less empathetic, the flake rate will continue to rise.

For obvious reasons, being flaked on is highly frustrating and it can be very tempting to call a flake out on their flaky behavior.

If you do, be mindful that flaky people typically don’t respond well to someone calling them out on their behavior.

They’ll often twist the situation and try to make you feel like you’re the one in the wrong for expecting them to keep their word.

Also, be aware that many people’s minds are warped and they will purposely flake just to “test you” to see how’ll you respond.

This practice is common particularly in the beginning stages of dating.

To save yourself the headache of dealing with a flake, it’s best to just cut contact.

The person who flakes may or may not want to make amends.

No matter what happens, don’t allow someone to disrespect you or your time.

Your main focus should be to protect your peace of mind and surround yourself with people who genuinely values you.

Time is your most valuable asset, so the last thing you want to do is waste it.

If a person truly wants to be in your life, it will be evident through their actions.

“Hey, I know we were planning to get together in a couple of minutes, but something came up and I can’t make it. Sorry.” ~ A Flake

How many of us get moments of inspiration to start something new?

It can be starting a business, taking a class, learning a different language, or beginning a new exercise routine.

Whatever it is, we think deeply about it.

We imagine ourselves accomplishing our dreams.

We see ourselves on top of the mountain, basking in bliss and glory for what we have accomplished.

However, many of us tell ourselves, “hmmm, not right now.”

“I will wait.”

“This is not the right time.”

“What I want sounds good, but I need more money.”

“I need for this situation to happen first, then I will be ready and will start.”

We then live our lives waiting for “all the stars to align” and day by day, life throws us one curve ball after another.

And before you know it, the situation that we were waiting for in order to start, never happens.

And our dreams remain just that.

Overtime, we suffer with the sting of regret because we did not put any effort into what we wanted.

You see, the truth is there will always be uncertainty when embarking on something new.

There is no perfect circumstance or situation.

Even more, there will always be obstacles and setbacks to keep you from reaching your dreams.

But, we must not let circumstances rule over us.

It must be the other way around.

Will there be mistakes made when embarking on something new?

Of course.

But, we must embrace the process and learn from our mistakes.

Because without mistakes there is no opportunity for growth.

So what tree have you been putting off to plant?

Is it a tree of starting a new business?

A tree of making new connections?

A tree of self-improvement?

Whatever the tree may be, do not let fear cripple you or cause you to procrastinate anymore.

Also, let go of any frustration or regret for not starting yesterday.

Because the second best moment you have is right now.

So, lay the foundation and start sowing your seeds.

Make room for your tree.

Today is the Day.

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” ~ Chinese Proverb

You have seen it before.

Those individuals who are “over here” one moment and “over there” the next.

They can never seem to sit still.

They live their lives trying to keep up with a never ending to-do list.

And they never seem to be fully present in whatever they do.

Ironically, if you ask them “why…what pushes you to live like this?”

Many of them would say they are trying to live a balanced life.

However, this is anything but balance.

Why not?

Because along with this ultra-busy lifestyle, many of these people complain of having a lack of energy, fatigue, and often rely on sugary drinks and caffeine to get up and going.

Simply put, this is a life of being overstretched, over-stimulated, and without order.

The very opposite of balanced living.

So what is balanced living?

Many health and wellness coaches say it is about drawing an even divide between work and play or making time for key domains of life, such work, play, family, and friends.

This is partly true.

But, it goes much deeper than this.

A helpful quote in understanding the true meaning of balance is by spiritual teacher, Koi Fresco.

He states, “Balance is key to everything. What we do, think, say, eat, feel, they all require awareness, and through this awareness we can grow.”

What this quote is saying is that in order for there to balance, there must first be awareness.

Or, in other words, one must understand the “why” behind what they do.

Whether people realize it or not, their why for doing what they do often comes from trying to keep up with the demands of modern society.

Modern society says to “Go, go, go. You must do more. You must be more. You must have more.”

It’s a destructive script.

One that ultimately leads to chronic stress, anxiety, depression, burn-out…all of the symptoms of imbalance.

So again, one must first have awareness of their driving forces and let go of any destructive script that encourages imbalance.

Then the foundation for balance can bet set.

And what does balance look like?

• • • Knowing who you truly are and living according your values.
    • Accepting the fact that you have strengths as well as limitations and cannot be all things to all people.
    • Being mindful of where you place your time and energy and living with boundaries.
    • Recognizing what matters most to you and living in alignment with your passions.
    • Doing your very best at life, but also accepting the things that you cannot change.

Like a tree that is strongly rooted, when you have balance, you are not easily moved by the ups and downs of life.

Instead, you are steady in your mind and avoid extremes because you know that difficult seasons don’t always last.

Balance may look different for each person because we are all unique and have our own paths in life, but it all results in being a more grounded and mindful person.

You could say, balance is not so much an action, but a state of being.

So, I encourage you to go within.

Reflect.

Let go of anything that is causing you imbalance.

Then, step by step, moment by moment, create balance.

Go.

Live balanced.

“Balanced comes in the moments when you stand up for the life you truly want for yourself, by making choices that align with that.” ~ Author Unknown